Be Your Own Valentine- Ep.3
We're going to talk about love and self love.
I could sit here and talk about love and how great it is to be with another person but if you can't step into the space of loving yourself then how are you going to step into the space of loving another person. It's definitely tough right now being in the social media world with look like this, talk like this, be like this, that you feel as though you may not be enough. I'm going to talk in the sense of your health and your well-being. Not in terms of any other aspect. My expertise is in the health industry so I want to relate to you on that front.
Do you love looking in the mirror in the morning? Do you avoid looking in the mirror?
I know some people that just prefer not to look at themselves in the mirror. That's avoiding that emotion that comes up. If you're stepping into the space of- this is my body, this is how it is and I'm going work to love it more- then you're going to start doing healthier things because you're going to love what you're seeing already. Adjusting to how that's going to feel of loving your body a little more, is you're going to want to put things into your body that makes it feel even greater. That are helping you either lose weight or helping you be stronger, heal ailments that you may have based on weight you may have gained or lost.
There are a variety of different eating disorders out there and many people reading this may have them and that's ok. If you have an eating disorder please seek help for it. It's serious and I don't want you to step into the place where you think you're not enough and you need to do something to be enough. That goes for depression and anxiety.
As you're having different emotions and they're tied to your reflection of yourself, you tend to start breaking yourself down. The more you break yourself down the more stressed out you're going to be and your body is just going to respond to the stress you're receiving.
I know firsthand what anxiety, depression and stress does to your body and it's not pretty. It starts from the inside and goes out. You want to start on the inside of your soul and say "I love this, I love me." Maybe it's not perfect but we're not striving to be perfect. No one is perfect so why do you want to be that way. Take a giant leap backwards before you go to say something negative about your body. Think why are you saying that. Is it because someone said something to you that made you feel like your body was not right, it was misshaped, too short, too skinny, too fat? Remember those words and start to remove the meaning that someone else gave them because you are not defined by what someone else says. You are not defined by how skinny, tall, or how much weight you have, the color of your hair. You're much more than that.
On Valentine's Day, find someone that you love- friend, family, spouse, coworker- that has really touched you. Reach out and let them know that you think they're beautiful or that you're so grateful that they have loved you for who you are. Now go love on yourself. Tell yourself- I am beautiful. I am strong. I am capable of so much more than I think but I will do so much more now that I know.
You are going to do amazing things with the person you are right now so stop trying to change something physically to live up to a perfectionist view. Stop trying to live up to what the media wants you to look like. Take control of your health in loving what you see right now. Look in the mirror, find something that you love.
If that's hard to do then grab a pen and paper and number it 1-20. Find 20 things that you love about yourself.
- That you love about the way your body moves.
- The way you can taste a fresh piece of pineapple
- The way you can enjoy cheese.
- The way you can enjoy a piece of chocolate.
After all Valentine's Day does have that perk of candy, chocolate... let's be serious it's the chocolate I'm focus on. Chocolate covered strawberries, I've made for a few years because I want to treat myself. Now I've gotten gifts. Growing up my father wanted me to know I was special so he got me chocolates, candy and I started to carry that on for myself no matter whom I was dating, or who I lived with. Rather I wanted to express that I love my body and I love how I'm receiving that. So I received chocolate covered strawberries and that's one on my list.
Do you love your eyes or ears in how they perk up when someone says your name or a compliment? Get descriptive with some of the things you love about yourself. Do not sit there and just write out every body part. That is not going to be helpful for you and that's not going to pull in the emotion of loving yourself more. When you write something, you may have a second thought that says "I don't like how oddly they're shaped." Like "I love my feet but I hate my big toe!"
Write it down. If you love how bony your knees are, write it down. This is not for anyone else. If you love the dimples you have in your back, write that down. This is about expressing the love you have for yourself and for you to go through the emotions of feeling it. That way the next time you look in the mirror you have a little more love for yourself. Every day build on that. Bring what you see and how you feel, together. So you spend every day stepping into a body of pure love, self love.
As you step into learning how to love yourself, you're going to naturally step into living a healthier lifestyle because you want to treat your body with respect. You want to fuel it with the right foods. You want to keep it moving so that it feels great, feels energized.
I challenge you to either look in the mirror and see what you love or make the list of 20 things that you love about yourself, as descriptive as you possibly can, or find a mantra that is based on how you feel about yourself. In a positive light that is. Speaking negatively to yourself is not going to express self love. It's just going to beat yourself up and put thoughts in your head that you're not enough. And you are enough!
Find a mantra like:
- I am beautiful and I am enough.
- Damn girl, you look good!
Say that to yourself when you get up and look in the mirror. You don't need someone else to tell you that, you can tell yourself that.
- I am a tall beautiful sexy woman.
Go through the motions of saying that out loud. I say my mantra about three times. The first time you're mechanically saying it, the second time you're starting to understand the words and the third time you're associating that and feeling it. That way the third time is that much deeper. If you need to say it a fourth time then go say it again. No one's stopping you from that. It's you wanting to love yourself more so take a minute to do it in the morning to say the mantra to yourself...
"I am gorgeous. I am glowing from the inside out and I'm going to do amazing things in this world."
You can turn that into a longer sentence but give yourself some love. And remember someone else around you needs that love too and a reminder that they are enough. Go out today, tomorrow, the next day because you don't need Valentine's Day to tell someone that you are grateful for them and how they love you. It doesn't have to be romantic love to be able to say that to someone.
Have a great Valentine's Day and if it's not so great, don't get hard on yourself because you're not alone. There are people that don't have a good Valentine's Day because they're divorced, separated, maybe they don't have their children for the night because they' re with their ex husband, or they lost someone years ago on Valentine's Day. Or maybe they just feel lonely. You're not alone. Do something that makes you feel happy on that day and do it with self love.
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